


(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To

by Overandout



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Incest, M/M, Mutual Pining, RP format, Strider twins, no SBurb AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25052221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Overandout/pseuds/Overandout
Summary: Dirk and Dave Strider are twins who finally saved up enough money to get their own place, away from Bro. But now that they can relax, other feelings can no longer be ignored.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Dirk Strider
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To

**Author's Note:**

> Rp with turntech-lovethis

It was one of Dirk's precious nights off from his retail job at a local computer parts store, and he intended to make the most of it. He did about half of his homework, the rest he could bust out during his free period, fucked around with a program he was working on building for one of his few freelance jobs, and finished off with making dinner to be ready for when Dave got home. 

Dirk wasn't an especially good cook, but it was too expensive to live off fast food, and it was hard to mess up spaghetti. Not impossible, but hard.

It had been six months since they had saved enough to move out, and Dirk was constantly grateful for it.

Even if he had to share a room with his twin.

Not that Dirk really minded. As much as he liked having his own space, he liked Dave around more. The fact that they had to share a bed... Well... He tried not to think about it. Some things were just... complicated.

He shook the thought from his mind and tried his best to season the can of sauce to make it a little more palatable as he waited for Dave.

  
  


Dave pushed the door to the apartment open, squeezing his jacket close to himself despite the relentless heat outside. 

“Honey, I’m home!” He called out jokingly, tossing his book-bag aside as he walked further into the apartment, a little smile coming onto his face at the smell of Dirk cooking. 

“You almost done in there?” Dave asked, walking into the doorway of the kitchen and leaning against it, smiling softly to himself as he allowed his covered eyes to track his brother around the kitchen.

“How was work?”

  
  


"Off today, and yeah just doing the finishing touches," Dirk said as he did the salt bae meme with the last of the spices, straight faced.

He piled spaghetti on two plates and handed one to Dave.

"How about you? Work go well?"

  
  


“Thanks,” Dave muttered as he took the plate, leaning against the counter as he answered.

“As well as it can working at a record store. Someone asked for Nicki Minaj on vinyl and in case you’re wondering- those definitely exist. Bright pink and everything.” 

“Did Bro call?”

  
  


Dirk rolled his eyes at the vinyl, then snorted. "Do you want him to?"

  
  


Dave made a face as he ate a bite of spaghetti and tilted his head. “The fuck did you put in this?”

He didn’t sound as if he was complaining though as he carefully avoided answering for a moment before shrugging.

“It’d be nice, I guess, if he isn’t weird about it.”

  
  


Dirk avoided answering the bit about the spices because he honestly couldn't remember what all he tried to add.

"When has he ever not been weird about shit?"

  
  


“Well, there was that one time- no, he kicked my ass for that, uh-“ Dave stopped speaking before sighing.

“Okay, it’d be nice to know that he’s at least a little worried about his brothers, that’s all.”

  
  


"He's just waiting for us to fuck up and crawl back to him," Dirk grumbled.

"Speaking of which, got homework to do? I'm free to help you bust through any if you need it."

  
  


“Very encouraging, I’m sure all the parental handbooks say that’s how you make your kids love you.” Dave replied sarcastically and blandly, before nodding.

“I did what I could at work, the rest is just some math, I’ll prolly ask you to help with what I don’t know.”

  
  


Oof. That hit too close to home.

"We're twins and you already love me," Dirk countered, more confidently than he felt. "Let me know when you need help. I'm going to veg out in the meantime."

He finished off his food and rinsed off the dish, leaving it in the sink, then plopped down on the couch in the living room and flipped on the TV.

  
  


“... Yeah, I love you too, Dirk.” And if he allowed himself to gaze at Dirk a bit softer than he usually did, it wasn’t as if his brother could see his eyes. 

“Okay, man, I’ll let you know.” 

Dave already knew how to do it, it was hard but not impossible for him to do, however, if it got him a few moments of Dirk’s undivided attention, he’d take it.

  
  


Dirk ignored the way his heart constricted when Dave actually said the words. Like he said, they were twins. Of course his brother loved him. Just not like...

He shook his head and put some mindless cartoon on TV. He didn't need to think about that. About how much he loved his brother in a not-so-brotherly way. Part of him wanted to blame it on the fucked up way Bro raised them, but most of him didn't want to give the man credit for how good it felt to love Dave, even as much as it hurt.

Well.

The cartoon certainly wasn't stopping him from thinking. 

He switched the TV off with a frustrated sigh and got up to do some cleaning while he waited to see if Dave needed his help.

  
  


Finishing up his food, Dave grabbed his book bag from the door. 

He took a seat in the living room, on the floor, where he could steal occasional glances of Dirk.

Dave took his time on his homework, purposefully not doing the ones that were a little more difficult, occasionally finding himself watching Dirk more than his paper.

“Hey, Dirk, can you help with these?” He stood up and dropped onto the couch beside Dirk, watching him through his shades closely.

  
  


Dirk was glad for his shades, so he could watch Dave, who had decided to do his homework on the floor instead of at a desk for some reason (not that Dirk was complaining) more than he was watching the TV.

When Dave sat next to him, Dirk used the shift in weight as an excuse to lean closer in, then 'carefully studied' the problems Dave pointed out to him, relishing in their touching shoulders, the occasional brush of hands.

Dirk grabbed the pencil Dave was holding, maybe pushing the 'accidental touching' too far, but he quickly refocused on working out the problems and showing Dave the steps. Some of them were pretty tricky, but he had more of a mind for math than most.

"Is this making sense?"

  
  


Dave allowed himself to lean in close and he hoped that Dirk wouldn’t notice he was closer than he needed to be, glad he already knew how to do the problems because he was paying so much attention to Dirk and his mouth as he explained. 

“Uh, yeah, it’s making sense.” No need to mention that he hadn’t taken in a single word that Dirk had said, too busy wondering if Dirk would notice if he scooted a little closer.

It wasn’t like he could just up and flirt with his brother like he would have done with anyone else by now.

  
  


Dirk pondered over the final problem. Once he explained this, there'd be no reason to stay so close. He "hmmm"d as though thinking deeply about this one while trying to find ways to extend the time spent on it.

He idly drummed his fingers on his leg then froze when he realized he was doing it on Dave's leg not his.

Would it be weirder to stop suddenly or keep going?

Brothers could be close like this, right?

He started drumming his fingers again and slowly explained the last problem, doing it a couple different ways to show Dave the different techniques you could use.

  
  


Dave didn’t jump when he felt Dirk’s fingers on his leg, eyes darting to Dirk’s hand and then to his brother’s face, only to see to see that he wasn’t outwardly reacting.

Dave swallowed slowly and nodded, like he was as confirming something with himself, before actually speaking aloud.

“Okay, but which one is easier to use?”

If Dirk didn’t mention it then neither would he, if that meant he’d keep his hand there a little longer.

  
  


Dirk was doing his best to watch Dave's reaction, but it was hard as he as bent over the paper. He didn't say anything about his hand, though, so he kept tapping for a few more beats then stopped and just... left his hand there.

What was the worst that could happen? A 'dude what are you doing' and then Dirk laughing it off like it's a joke? Or he didn't realize he did it? Yeah, that was fine.

"It's less about one being easiest and more about which one makes the most sense to you," Dirk said. He pointed out the pros and cons of each of the ways and why some people might like one over another.

All that was left was to... actually solve the problem and then Dave would leave and he didn't know when he'd get another excuse to be this close. Sure, they slept together, but there was an unspoken... bro code, he guessed, about giving each other plenty of space, or as much as they could on the twin bed.

"Figure out which works best for you and try it for yourself."

  
  


Dave shrugged, looking back down at the paper. 

“I guess that makes sense.” 

He glanced back at Dirk’s hand on his thigh, and smiled a little to himself before carefully blanking his expression once more and gently taking the pencil back.

He allowed his hand to linger for a moment before he finally pulled it back and began writing down the problem and slowly breaking it down one of the many ways that Dirk showed him.

“Like this?” All it would take is one purposely misplaced number to draw this out but how long until Dirk caught on?

  
  


Dirk repressed a shudder as Dave's hand brushed his, seeming to linger, though he knew that was just his mind playing tricks on him.

He focused back on the paper when Dave asked him to check it over. He maneuvered closer, and allowed his hand to naturally move further in on Dave's thigh. He wanted to see how long his luck would hold out. "Close, but it looks like you switched up the numbers here," he said, pointing at the paper.

His forehead was almost brushing against Dave's. Surely his brother would feel too comfortable and move away any minute now.

  
  


Dave stiffened a little when he felt Dirk’s hand move but he didn’t say anything, and was it a little warm?

It was feeling a little warm.

He forced his racing thoughts aside to instead focus on what Dirk was saying.

“Oh damn,” He quickly corrected the answer and felt oddly sad that this would mean they no longer had a reason to be pressed together the way they were.

“Like this?”

  
  


Dirk looked over the answer, almost hoping there was something else wrong, but there wasn't. He tried not to sound disappointed when he said, "Yeah, like that."

He needed to move, back away. 

He didn't want to.

But... He didn't want to make things too obviously weird.

He stretched and leaned back into the couch. "I think it's time I head to bed." If he got there first then Dave would set how close they would be tonight. And maybe there was a chance he'd actually fall asleep before the awkwardness of lying next to his crush, his brother, weighed on him and made it hard to sleep like it did most nights.

  
  


“Uh, it’s pretty early, you sure?” Dave asked as he packed up his homework, watching as he stretched and leaned away from him. 

Would it be weird to ask him to stay with him? They could just sit there and watch tv, would Dirk even let him get as close as he’d been only a few minutes ago?

There was no more excuses of math homework if he tried, and besides, going to sleep now meant sharing a bed and they always kept some space between them but what if Dave wanted to get.. Closer.

  
  


Damn. Dirk was so focused on not being weird with the touching, he didn't consider going to bed so early would be weird.

"Uh, yeah, you know, gotta get my beauty sleep," he said, laughing and hoping it didn't sound as awkward as he felt.

If Dave thought it was early, maybe he would be able to go to sleep before Dave climbed in bed and left that horrible endless space between them.

He stood up and headed to the room, then turned at the doorway and said, "Night, Davey. Don't stay up too late."

Davey. Davey Davey Davey. Shit. He hadn't called him that since they were kids. He must be feeling too sentimental tonight. That touching really got to him.

  
  


Dave’s eyebrows raised over the edge of his shades as he watched Dirk awkwardly stumble over a laugh. 

Did he come off too strong with the touching? He hoped not, that would make going to sleep so weird. 

“Dav-“ Dave cut himself off before he parroted the name back and tilted his head before smiling a little, softer than he’d normally allow himself to.

“Yeah, night, Dirky.” Might as well go all the way with it if that’s what they were doing.

  
  


Dirk couldn't help it. He flushed a little when Dave said his name like that. Instead of responding, he stumbled backward through the doorframe then whipped around and slammed himself onto the bed, then rolled over to his side, putting his shades on the nightstand.

This was so stupid. He was so stupid. And yet here he was, his heart pounding as he anxiously awaited his brother coming to bed with him (oh god if only it was like it sounded when he said it).

He wasn't sure what got into him tonight, but he needed to calm the fuck down before Dave decided it was time to sleep, too.

  
  


Dave watched Dirk leave the leaving room before he looked back at the tv, but his mind wasn’t really on it. 

It seemed to stray to his brother, to the way he was so close, if he was anyone else, Dave would have kissed him.

But he wasn’t anyone else, it was his brother, he couldn’t just up and kiss him- he bet he was just imagining whole thing.

No wonder he was so quick to leave the room, he’d probably creeped him out. Dave sank down into the couch and sighed, throwing his head back.

“Well, fuck me running.” 

It was about an hour or so after Dirk had went to lay down that Dave actually went and got ready for bed, leaning onto the doorframe to watch Dirk for a moment before he walked over and climbed in next to him.

They usually slept as far apart as they could without falling off the bed but, if Dirk was already asleep, it wouldn’t be much to get a little closer, right?

Dave laid down and found himself watching the other quietly, at peace in the dark of the room.

  
  


Dirk had managed to fall asleep, but only lightly, so when Dave laid down next to him, he woke up easily. He didn't move, though, didn't want to let Dave know he was awake, especially since Dave laid a lot closer to him than he usually got.

Maybe he just liked having more of the bed and didn't think Dirk would mind since he was asleep? He had no clue. He did want to test his luck, though, which had worked out for him so far tonight.

While still pretending to be asleep, he languidly squirmed and rolled just a little closer to Dave, now facing him, though he didn't risk opening his eyes to look. He did his best to keep his breathing even to not clue Dave in on his level of consciousness.

  
  


Dave went still, stiller than he already was when Dirk moved. 

He relaxed a little, however, when Dirk’s eyes didn’t open; he was still asleep.

As Dave’s eyes adjusted to the dark, he allowed himself to trace over Dirk’s face.

He looked so much softer without his shades, more approachable and, dare he say it, cuter.

  
  


Dirk tried to fall back to sleep, tried to be content being this close, but he wanted to be closer, he wanted to be touching. He racked his brain trying to find another way to get closer without giving himself away.

Hey, sometimes people cuddled against things when they slept, right? Dirk had no idea if he did that in his sleep, he probably didn't or Dave would have mentioned it by now, but there's a first time for everything.

He stretched his arm out and wrapped it around Dave, cuddling closer, his head pressed to Dave's chest, doing his best to keep his breathing calm and his heart rate down as he waited for Dave to push him off.

  
  


Holy shit holy shit holy sh-

Dirk never did this, not usually, half the time Dave woke up and checked for his brother’s breathing because he didn’t really move in his sleep but now he was holding him and it was subconscious, sure, and-

His heart was hammering away in his chest, he sure hoped that it didn’t wake up Dirk, it would probably be a little awkward for both of them but.. 

Dave scooted a little closer, nose buried into Dirk’s hair as he relaxed into his hold. 

It was so safe feeling, and Dave wouldn’t go as far as to say that he was touch-starved (and he was, just a little), but this was perhaps the most contact he got on a day to day basis. 

Maybe if he stayed still long enough, he could have this for a little longer.

  
  


Dave's heart was beating rapidly. This was probably so weird for him. He was going to push Dirk off any second.

But then...

He relaxed into it, moving closer and Dirk felt Dave's face in his hair and-- holy shit

Holy shit

What did this mean?

Was this a normal brother thing? Holding each other like this? But Dave was usually so distant when they slept. Whatever was happening, Dirk was going to enjoy it while he could.

He squeezed Dave a little tighter and let himself truly start to fall asleep, finally holding the person most precious to him.

  
  


He was so warm and oh- he squeezed him a little more and that was just, that was perfect, and Dave found himself melting a little more and drifting off faster than usual.

He wondered how it would be in the morning, after Dirk woke up and either didn’t say anything at all or just told him it was a mistake. 

Would he do that?

A big part of him hoped not, but life was unfortunately not like the stories that Rose wrote, and while he politely ignored it now, they were still brothers, that hadn’t changed.

It would make things easier, sure, but it hadn’t changed one bit.

Dave fell asleep comfortable, however, if only mildly disgruntled by his own thoughts.

  
  


They were still tangled up in each other when Dirk woke up. He wanted to stay there forever, but they still had to go to school, so he gently untangled himself and went to the kitchen to make breakfast.

The smell of his bacon and eggs usually woke Dave up, and cooking distracted him from the awkwardness that was sure to come.

He and Dave hadn't been that close since they were kids. It was... out of place, to say the least. Surely Dave would say how weird it was and they'd laugh it off and a pit would form in Dirk's stomach as he knew he could never act on the love he held for his brother.

  
  


Dave woke to the bed warm, but empty of his brother and he sighed loudly, sitting up and looked around.

He could smell Dirk cooking and he got up, stretching as he wondered how to broach the topic of how they’d slept.

It’d probably be easier to not say but what if it really was just a one-time thing? 

Dave laughed to himself but it was mirthless as he left the room.

“Morning, bro.” Dave leaned against the counter as he watched the other cook, feeling oddly exposed until he realized that he hadn’t grabbed his shades.

Fuck.

“You cuddle in your sleep, you know that?” Maybe if he played it off like it was nothing too bad, it wouldn’t be too awkward?

  
  


Dirk did his best not to jump when Dave said good morning, and he was glad he was facing away when Dave mentioned the cuddling, because he couldn't stop the heat rise to his face.

That wasn't... the worst thing he could say about it. It wasn't that bad at all, actually?

"You cuddled back," Dirk noted, trying to keep his tone even.

  
  


Dave tilted his head as he watched Dirk, trying to gauge a reaction but Bro has taught them well, and he expressed nothing, not even a twitch from where Dave stood.

“Yeah, well, you were warm and-“ He cut himself off, he wasn’t sure what he’d said next and he didn’t always think before he spoke.

This wasn’t the proper situation for that, not now, not when Dirk was clearly wide-eyed and awake as compared to when he was asleep and Dave could pretend they were cuddling for the hell of it and not because of his brother’s subconscious mind. 

“.. Nothing. And nothing.”

  
  


Dirk considers that hesitation very carefully. That wasn't... a bad hesitation. If this were anyone who wasn't his brother, all signs would be screaming that this was a mutual thing, but that was crazy, right?

He considers his next words as he plates up the food.

"You were warm, too," he says, handing Dave his plate.

  
  


Dave took his plate and looked up at Dirk, head tilted a little before he smiled. 

“What else can you expect, I’m fucking hot, thanks.” 

He found himself staring at Dirk a few seconds longer before remembering he wasn’t wearing his shades and quickly averting his eyes.

“Uh, thanks-“ He repeated, making sure to not trip over his words as he stepped away from the other.

  
  


"Thank you," Dirk said. "We're twins, so if you're hot, I'm hot, and I'm hot." Surely that was toeing the line, but Dave started it.

Everything in his brain was screaming to make a move, with the way Dave looked at him especially, but he knew it was all in his head. It had to be. He couldn't let himself hope.

He would, anyway.

He stuffed some food into his mouth, leaning back against the counter, before he said anything else stupid.

  
  


Dave watched him for a moment before doing the same, unsure if the silence that had fallen over them was comfortable or tense but he finished his food faster than he usually would have, even going as far as to wash his plate before deciding he needed to actually get ready for the day before he did something he might regret, like kiss his brother. 

That was a bit dramatic, he wouldn’t kiss him, but he would definitely ask him something like “can we cuddle again?” and he couldn’t imagine that going well. 

“So uh, do you have work after school today or are you off again?” 

Or he could stall a little more to stay in the room with him, that was definitely something he could also do.

  
  


Dirk watched Dave practically inhale his food. Probably eager to leave the awkward atmosphere he just created. Then Dave took the time to clean his plate and ask a question instead of rushing off to get ready.

"Work," he said, then realizing it sounded too curt added, "You?" Anything to avoid the awkwardness and keep the conversation going.

He finished his food and cleaned his plate as well in the meantime.

  
  


Dave shrugged before replying. “The same.”

He looked at Dirk one more time before he quickly left the room, pushing his hair back with both hands and he sighed out harshly through his nose. 

“Fuck, he totally knows something’s up.” Dave muttered to himself, quickly getting ready for school. 

Would this make school awkward? He hoped not, god, he really needs to think before he speaks.

  
  


Dave rushed out of the room. Great. Just what he needed. He sighed and finished getting ready, careful to avoid Dave as he did so it wouldn't feel like he was.... he didn't know, creeping or something?

Probably freaked out after the cuddling. Maybe the 'warm' thing was just... What it was. Dirk had no idea.

He sighed as he left for school, keeping a couple of paces behind Dave as they walked.

  
  


Dave could feel Dirk behind him, finding himself unusually unnerved to have his brother at his back, and he wondered if it was because of what he’d said earlier.

He hoped not but, he wouldn’t blame him if he was.

When they arrived, Dave came to a stop to wait for Dirk to stop before he looked at him, going to speak before he paused and shook his head, quickly walking off into the school.

And now he felt worse. 

He drifted through classes, only snapping to when it was English because he could feel his friend staring at him.

“What, dude?” 

“You.. look like shit.”

“Thanks!,” Dave hissed back sarcastically, “are you done or do you want to insult me a little more?”

His friend frowned and looked at the teacher quickly before speaking again. “What’s wrong, Dave? Seriously, don’t be weird about it.”

Dave rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“After class, man, I’ll tell you after.”

  
  


Dave didn't bother to wait for him before heading into school, which only confirmed Dirk's feeling that he needed to give him space after the awkward morning. Fuck, he hopes this doesn't last too long.

He barely pays attention in class, which is fine for math and some other subjects, but when he gets to shop class he's startled by his partner and friend snapping her fingers in front of his face.

"Dude, you almost took off your finger," she said. "What's going on with you?"

Dirk quickly removed his hand from the dangerous situation and muttered a "sorry" before focusing harder on his work, but he's still clearly out of it.

"Dirk, I know how you get when you don't want to talk about shit but this is a safety issue for both of us. What's going on?" his friend asked, stopping him from using the machinery.

Dirk sighed, debating on what to say, then finally said, "I just... Have you ever been into someone you shouldn't like? And you feel terrible about liking them and there's no way they'd like you back?"

She tilted her head in confusion. "I thought you got over your gay crisis back in middle school. People are chill with it, Dirk, no need for this weird guilt."

"It's not... I mean sort of but that's not really my issue."

"Look, this is clearly eating you up, so why don't you just tell him? Worst he can do is say no, and then you can start moving on. And you never know! Plenty of dudes think they're straight when they're not, so you still got a chance."

Dirk considered this. "I can't take back telling him, and if he rejects me, which is a 99% probability, life will get very... Difficult to day the least."

His friend smiled and patted his shoulder. "You're a senior. Whatever awkwardness may happen will go away the second you graduate and get the fuck out of here. And what's life without a few risks?"

Dirk just nodded. That was... Certainly something to think about. He considered this advice for the rest of his unbearably short but still distracted school day.

  
  


Dave’s foot hadn’t even crossed the threshold of the classroom before he felt a hand on his shoulder, stopping himself just a hair short of just reacting like his Bro had taught him and relaxing into his friend’s touch.

“Okay, man, ‘fess up.” 

Dave sighed and shook his head a little, he had said after class, after all. 

“Just.. Feeling shit, man. Feelings.. and shit.”

“You have a crush?”

“A crush?” Dave wasn’t sure if he’d call being completely and totally in LOVE with his brother a “crush” but if that made this easier to explain, why the hell not?

“Yeah, man, it’s.. Fucking sad, really.”

“Who’s the lucky girl?”

“I’m gay, dude.”

“... Who’s the lucky guy?”

“No one you know but fuck if he isn’t ruining my life. That was harsh, he’s like a goddamn hummingbird and I’m just a fucking flower.”

“Hummingbirds go to flowers, Dave-“

“Let me finish- but I’m like-poisonous or somethin’. He doesn’t really want me, he’s just.. Hungry.”

His friend gave him a droll look. “I understood.. none of that- Little piece of advice though, if you really like this guy, why don’t you just let him know? You don’t even have to say it, just show him how you feel. Do things without him asking, be real with him, man.”

If only it was that easy but it was good advice.

“Thanks.”

  
  


School was over before too long, and Dirk waited at the entrance while the crowds of kids moved past, ignoring his friend's teasing about who he was waiting for ("I'm waiting for my twin, dumbass," he had said, not having to deny that it was also the guy he was interested in.).

He hoped the awkward air had finally left after a day at school so they could get back to normal and not think quite so much about how Dirk pushed boundaries so much the night before 

Though his brain still obsessed over Dave cuddling back, saying he was warm, and his friend's advice to go for it because if all else failed they'd graduate soon and Dave could leave if he wanted to get away from his terrible incestuous brother.

That hurt. He didn't want Dave to leave. But maybe it would be better than sitting by and watching him find someone else to fall in love with. Okay now he was just torturing himself. He tried to shake off his frown as he scanned the crowd for his brother, wanting to at least walk home together and have things feel okay before they both headed to work.

  
  


Dave found himself both dreading the end of the school and excited as he exited the school, searching for his brother and finding him on instinct more than sight.

He approached Dirk easily enough, Dave carefully blanked. “Hey, Dirk. You ready to go?” 

He wondered if on the walk home, it would be like the walk to school, awkward and quiet and uncomfortable in a way Dave wasn’t used to when Dirk was around. Bro, definitely, but never Dirk. 

He’d definitely fucked up by cuddling Dirk back, he should have pushed him away, but the advice that had been given to him by his friend was in the back of his mind as he stared at his brother from behind his shades.

He could try it out, if anything went wrong, he could just play it off as wanting to be nice or something.

  
  


Dirk let himself half smile as Dave approached him. Awkwardness seemed to be over. Score.

He nodded and said, "Let's head back," and started walking in the direction of their apartment.

His mind raced for something to say before things fell weirdly silent and tense again. "Good day at school?" he asked lamely, wishing he had something better to go with.

Dave nodded, not saying anything for a moment.

“It was good, I didn’t get detention or anything, so.. Good. What about you, was it good?”

Dave allowed himself to drift a little closer to Dirk’s side, almost touching but careful to keep that little bit of space between them, lest he make it awkward again, not wanting a repeat of this morning.

  
  


Dave moved closer. Was that on purpose? Either way, he appreciated it. He didn't want to feel like he had to keep Dave at arm's length just for things not to be awkward. And not just because he had the hots for him.

"Good here, too. Glad things are.. good. Just. Good." Cool. Smooth Dirk. Smooth.

They reach their apartment and he opens the door, gesturing for Dave to go in first while resisting slamming his head into it over how weird he was still making things.

  
  


Dave kept glancing out the side of his eyes at Dirk as they walked, he was a little.. Weird, right now.

Well, Dave always saw his brother as sort of weird, he knew other folks saw him as a bit odd but right now, he didn’t know what was going on with his brother.

Dave smiled a little when the Dirk opened the door for him, cheeks feeling a little warm, he hoped he wasn’t blushing.

“Thanks, Dirk, a fine lady like myself deserves the proper recognition of a gentleman.”

Dear god, why couldn’t he have just stopped himself at thank you, and now he was really blushing.

  
  


Dirk was glad Dave went in first because he was sure he was blushing like mad when he followed in after Dave. He hurried to their room to grab his work uniform to change into, now too self conscious to change in the room, even though he'd done it plenty of times, and instead opting to change in the bathroom.

When he finished changing, he said a quick, "Runnin' late, gotta go!" and heads out the door and to work, hoping Dave bought that (he was actually a little behind schedule) and they'll have a nice normal dinner together in a few hours.

Dave can say he’s never seen Dirk that eager to get out of the door and head to work but he couldn’t really complain or anything of that nature, be needed to get to work himself.

The record store was fairly lax, letting him get schoolwork done when he could between helping customers and organizing shelves.

Dave got ready, making sure to lock up the house as he left, briefly realizing he never asked if Dirk would get home before him.

  
  


The computer repair shop was boring. He was smarter than literally every other person hired there, but since he was still a minor, no one paid him any mind, which was beyond frustrating.

Being a minor also meant he got to go home early on the weekdays, though, especially since the store was pretty dead, so it was only a bit after nine when he got home.

"I'm back!" he called to the empty apartment. He had been pretty sure Dave worked later than him, and that seemed to be true.

He didn't have the energy to cook, though, so he just popped a family size frozen meal in the oven and waited for Dave to get back home, both hoping tonight wouldn't be as awkward as last night had been and desperately hoping they'd have an excuse to be that close again.

He probably scared Dave off with that, though.

  
  


Dave was happy to say that he was able to get home with all of his schoolwork done early after a surprisingly easy shift.

Not many people had come into the shop, and it was only he and his coworker since the manager had mentioned he wouldn’t be coming in.

He was an older man, by at least five years, and he’d let Dave sit in the break room to focus on his work first.

Opening the door, he was surprised to see that Dirk was already home.

“Didn’t know you got off early today, Dirk.” 

He put his bag and everything down, kicking off his shoes and locking the door.

“How was it?”

  
  


Dirk was sitting on the couch, and looked up as Dave entered.

"Slow, so good. That's what let me out early. Food's almost done. How was work for you?"

He's relieved with the ease he and Dave are talking again.

  
  


“Pretty much the same, I got all my work done and we had maybe five customers.”

He ran a hand through his hair and paused for a moment before nodding, letting Dirk know he’d heard what else he said.

“Okay, I’m gonna go get in the shower.” 

He hoped Dirk didn’t feel like he was trying to avoid him, he just wanted a moment to think about how he was going to “woo” his brother without getting distracted by said brother. 

He gave Dirk a little nod before leaving the room.

  
  


Dirk nodded back. Yeah, everything was normal. But no school work meant no excuse to be close to Dave. Maybe he could... sit closer to the middle of the couch?

That sounded stupid.

But also he didn't have many other options.

By the time Dave was out of the shower, Dirk had retrieved and plated up the food and was waiting for him on the couch, not quite in the middle, but definitely not entirely on his side.

If Dave said anything, he could move and just say he wasn't paying attention when he sat down.

  
  


Dave smiled in thanks as he grabbed his plate, dropping down into the couch absentmindedly only to notice that Dirk was a little closer than usual.

Dave glanced at him, once again not wearing his shades before simply shrugging and looking back towards the TV.

“You wanna watch a movie or something?”

  
  


Dave wasn't wearing his shades so Dirk saw the glance at him, but he couldn't parse it. He didn't move away, though, so that was fine.

"Yeah, sure." Dirk flipped through the channels and found one playing Zoolander and smirked as he left it on. It'll be funny background noise, at the very least.

When he finished eating, he put his dish on the table and stretched, trying to subtly claim another few inches closer to Dave like he was straight out of some cheesy teen romcom.

  
  


Dave was more than aware of Dirk getting closer, he found himself to be oddly aware of the weird-electric-“can you just be a little closer?” feeling that came from being so close to his brother. 

“Zoolander? We’ve seen this movie like a thousand times,” Despite his dramatic complaint, he found himself leaning back on the couch, getting just a little closer to his brother, and “focused” on the movie, though he seemed more focused on his brother than what was happening on the screen.

  
  


Dave moved closer, too. Was he just imagining it? No. Their elbows we're definitely nearly brushing. "Yeah, it's a good brainless movie," he said, subtly moving his leg to press against Dave's.

Any second now.

Any second Dave would realize how close they were and move away.

His heart was beating out of his chest.

  
  


Dave glanced at their legs, it was fucking electricity, he wouldn’t consider himself a wordsmith or a poet but Dirk brought the best and the worst out of him.

He wanted to lay his head on his brother’s shoulder, he wanted to kiss him, but this had to just be the coincidental touch starved affection of having one Bro Strider as a guardian, he was sure of it.

There was no way that Dirk liked him like that, but if he could get away with this, he would.

Scooting a little closer and hoping like Hell he wasn’t about to embarrass himself, he rested his head on Dirk’s shoulder, heart beating so fast he was going to start getting palpitations.

  
  


Dave laid his head on Dirk's shoulder.

Dave laid his head on Dirk's shoulder!

Surely he could hear how fast his heart was racing, it was all Dirk could hear, the movie a distant distraction.

What should he do?

Tentatively, he laid his head on Dave's, his hair against his cheek soft and sweet and God was he really so touch starved that this was all it took? Yes, but also no. It's because it was Dave, his twin, his (he cringed at the thought) crush.

He'd savor this as long as he could.

  
  


Dirk didn’t say anything, and if he didn’t then neither would Dave. 

He scooted a little closer, making himself as comfortable as he could against his brother’s side as he stared at the screen. 

“Do either of us know the plot of this?”

He could totally make conversation right now, maybe Dirk would even play along.

  
  


Dave moved closer and this was real, this was happening. Dirk suddenly had no idea what to do with his hands. They were just kinda... sitting in his lap.

And now Dave was making casual conversation, like this was a thing they did all the time. "Does it matter? It's a masterpiece," he said, tone even.

He remembered last night, his hand on Dave's leg, and how Dave didn't move and he wondered how far he could really push this.

He stretched his hand and let his fingers rest on Dave's thigh, tingling at even the slightest extra touch.

  
  


“I worry about you and John’s definition of ‘masterpiece’ but go off?” 

Dave jumped a little when Dirk’s hand rested on his thigh and he briefly glanced at it before looking back to Dirk.

He let it rest there for a moment before placing his hand on top of Dirk’s.

They.. they’re practically holding hands and cuddling.

  
  


Dirk was sure his face was red. Dave placed his hand on top of his own. That's... that's not a regular brotherly thing, was it? What the fuck was going on?

In for a penny, in for a pound.

He flipped his hand over, so they're palm to palm, holding Dave's hand but not intertwining their fingers.

"See, when I say it," Dirk said, careful not to let his voice quiver with anxiety, "I'm being ironic. John actually means it."

  
  


They were really doing this, huh? Dave intertwined their fingers and squeezed, unable to keep the overwhelmed shake out of his voice.

“How much is actually ironic about it?” He asked, hoping Dirk would read the undertone, that he’d just Know he was no longer talking about the movie but about him.

He wanted to relax but instead he found himself tense as he waited for an answer.

  
  


Oh fuck.

Oh fuck this was happening.

Dave intertwined his fingers in Dirk's and Dirk's brain stuttered to catch up with the question. Was that.... a double meaning? Time to gamble. "Not a whole lot, actually," he admits. "It's a pretty good movie. Might even be my favorite."

  
  


Dave relaxed into Dirk’s side and looked away, nuzzling closer to him as he did so.

“Yeah.. It is a pretty good movie.”

If they could stay like this for a moment without it getting awkward in the morning, Dave would cherish it. He didn’t even know how things would be after the movie ended but this?

This was more than he could even ask for.

  
  


Dave cuddled further into him and Dirk thought his heart would combust.

Did this mean Dave felt the same way? What were the odds? But what else could this mean?

He tried to relax as the movie continued, but he kept thinking about what would happen after. Would they just let it go to the next movie? Would Dave pull away? Would Dirk find out this was all a joke?

He breathed slowly in and out to calm his heartbeat, and that helped calm him down a little.

But eventually the movie went to credits and he hesitantly said, "So... Still a good movie?"

  
  


Dave blearily blinked his open, having started dozing somewhere near the end of the movie but he stretched a little and nodded.

“The beginning.. Was a little rough, but.. Still a good movie.”

He muttered sleepily against his brother's neck, huffing slightly as he started to drift a little more.

  
  


Dave was so tired he could barely form a sentence. Dirk smiled and rubbed his thumb over his brother's hand, then reluctantly stood up, careful to keep Dave sitting upright, then pulled him to his feet.

"I think it's time to hit the hay, dude," he says, hoping his affection at his twin's sleepy state outweighs the anxiety he feels.

  
  


“Yeah, yeah,” Dave allowed Dirk to guide him to his feet, leaning into his side a little as they lingered.

“You,” Being half asleep sure did fill him with some sort of courage, didn’t it?

“You aren’t going to be weird about this tomorrow, right?”

  
  


Was... Dave worrying about the same thing Dirk was? Did Dirk actually luck out here? Was he reading too much into things.

"I won't be if you aren't," he said, leading Dave to their room and sitting him down on the bed.

  
  


“Okay, I won’t.” He sat down on the bed and looked up at Dirk, gripping the bottom of his shirt so that he couldn’t walk away quite yet.

“What the hell are we doing, man?”

  
  


Dirk is surprised by the tug on his shirt, but at the question, he doesn't even stop to think, to worry.

He leaned down, cupped Dave's face in his hand, and kissed him chastely on the lips.

By which point his brain caught up with his movements and he jerked back an inch, then froze, as though not moving would somehow make this better.

  
  


Holy shit, holy shit holy shit he kissed him

Dave stared wide-eyed at Dirk for a moment before his lips twitched up into a small smile and he tugged him back down, kissing him quickly, pulling away for a moment only to press his lips back and linger over Dirk’s own for a moment.

He was more than awake now, his brother- god, his crush had kissed him. 

“It’s okay.” Dave keeps his voice soft and he pulls back a little to watch Dirk.

“It’s okay.”

  
  


Dirk's heart started beating again when Dave kissed him back, and at his words, Dirk dove back in, kissing, then breaking apart to say "I love you so much," then kissing again, his lips hungrily consuming like he had been starving his whole life and finally was given food.

  
  


“I love you too,” another kiss, it was desperate. “I love you so much.”

This, this was all that Dave had wanted, he couldn’t remember exactly when it started, maybe it had always been there, maybe Bro had seen it and tried to stop it but this felt too- it felt too damn good to be stopped, brothers and strifes and rooftops be damned.

“God, Dirk, you don’t know how much I love you.” Dave breathed when they broke apart for air, resting his forehead against Dirk’s.

  
  


Dirk chuckled, relishing the feeling of Dave's breath tickling his face. "I can guess," he said, leaning forward to kiss his twin's nose.

Dirk thought he might die then and there. What else was there to want from life? He was away from Bro, he had his brother, and his brother loved him back, the same way he did.

This ache he had felt in his chest for, well, most of his life if not all of it, was finally satisfied.

He nuzzled his nose into Dave's contentedly.

  
  


Dave sighed, leaning into Dirk a little as he rubbed their noses together.

“Come on, lay down, I’m tired.” Dave gently tugged Dirk towards the bed more, smiling up at him.

  
  


Dirk smiled back and climbed over Dave, maybe less gracefully than he would have like, to his side of the bed, then put his shades on the side table and cuddled up against him, pulling him tight to his chest.

"I was awake. Last night. I was awake, I just didn't want you to know," he admitted, trying not to feel like a stupid dork about it.

  
  


Dave sighed into Dirk’s chest, draping an arm over his waist when he spoke.

Dave felt his face flush red and he looked away for a moment before looking back at Dirk.

“You were awake.. and you didn’t say anything?. Oh my god, I thought I’d fucked us over last night and you just didn’t SAY anything- if I was so happy right now, I could kick your ass.”

  
  


Dirk laughed sheepishly. "I didn't know what to do! I thought maybe you just..." He gestured vaguely. "Maybe that you were only doing it because I was asleep? I didn't want to break the spell. I never thought-- I never thought you'd like me back, you know, like that," he said like a total teen, still nervous in front of his crush.

  
  


“Ugh-” He couldn’t lie, he had only done it because he thought that Dirk was asleep, or else he wouldn’t have risked it.

Now, looking at their current position and thinking about those kisses, he didn’t regret it one bit.

A smirk made its way to Dave’s face when his brother started to fluster and he cooed.

“Aw, does Dirky have a crush?” He teased playfully, batting his eyes up at him.

  
  


Dirk spluttered and pushed against Dave defensively. "I-- You-- I don't-- I mean-- Do you have a crush??" Smooth, Dirk. Smooth.

  
  


Dave laughed a little at Dirk’s stuttering, pressing a kiss to his nose before he can start to overthink it and he looked Dirk over once more before speaking.

“It’s okay, I know I have a crush.”

  
  


Dirk looked at Dave with heavy lidded eyes after the kiss, and pushes forward, kissing his lips, his cheeks, his chin, his neck, back to his lips, then nuzzles in his neck. "I've wanted this for so long. I'm so, so happy, Dave," he said, interspersing his words with more kisses to his neck.

  
  


Dave tilted his head, sighing softly as Dirk pressed kisses over his neck, a small smile coming to his face.

“Me too, Dirk, me too..”


End file.
